Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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