They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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