Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
