Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize