I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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