If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize