Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
