There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
