Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The ass gains better be worth it
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
