I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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