Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize