and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
