A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
a search helicopter?!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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