That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
