I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
