Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
