I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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