And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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