my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
