fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
