i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
