Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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