Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
