wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
