I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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