New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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