I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
