Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
