my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize