I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
