i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
