i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
