Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
