ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
