where does the pee come out of this thing
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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