I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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