worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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