the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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