Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
