If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We smell like vodka and hangover
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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