Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize