You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize