it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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