Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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