can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
