Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
