I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
