I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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