carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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