I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize