what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
