I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
