I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
