Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
