I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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