he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
