Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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