could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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