Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
