i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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