My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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