i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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