drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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