All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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