so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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