Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
