Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She's the barista slut.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
