Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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