Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I want to have your abortion
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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